09
Feb
10

These are a Few of my Favourite Things

Dunkin Donuts

Psychology

Pentel Twist-Erase Mechanical Pencils (0.5 mm)

Android Phones

Starbucks VIA Instant Coffee

The Letter S

Red Hilighters

Micro SD Cards

Ashley Greene

Engineering Pads

Rulers with 0.1″ scales

The English Systen of Units

Zephyrhills Water

7

Google

Rainy Days

Ginger Ale

Useless Facts

Old Books

Boot Cut Jeans

Dark Fingernail Polish (on girls)

Stripes

Red

Hugs

Fast Cars

White Chocolate

S

08
Dec
09

Sham-Ease!

Here’s a hilarious product description of the off-brand Sham-Wow package that just sold out in a Woot-Off:

An explosion at the dam. A broken shark tank. Your fat uncle Vincenzo lying face down in a pool of his own blood as the black sedan screeches around the corner, signaling a beginning to the bloodiest mob war in history. We’ve all been there. We’ve all had those moments when a simple towel just won’t do. That’s why there’s the Sham-Ease ten pack!

A single Sham-Ease shammy is strong enough to hold 27 times more water than a regular ordinary towel. Machine washable, it can work with any liquid, even the ones you won’t actually want to get on a towel. Like, what kind of idiot would dip a Sham-Ease in acid? Sure, it’ll soak it up, but then you’re holding an acid filled towel in your hand. Great move there, stupid. It’s that kind of thinking that forced Sal Olivegro’s hand. You think the families wanted Uncle Vinnie to die? They had no choice!

This ten pack of Sham-Ease towels is your easy clean up helper. Six 15” x 15” yellow shammies and four 20” x 23.5” orange shammies will help soak up even the worst spills, letting you keep your home safe and dry. They’ll let you keep that much. Out of respect. But don’t try to get any more than that, or Sal will cut you down with out a second thought. Just business, you understand. Just business.

12
Oct
09

Rain Boots

Ladies,

If I have ever given you a hard time about wearing cutsie little rain boots, I officially apologize.  I still don’t care what they look like, but if you want butterflies and flowers on them, more power to you.  Dry feet are something I took for granted.  Anything you have to do to keep ‘em dry, I say, go for it.

This is my apology.  Please forgive me.  Thank you.

SS

07
Oct
09

You (plural)

Whether you’re from Philly and say “youse guys” or from the South or Texas and say “y’all” or “youins”, it is never acceptable to use “ya’ll“.  That contraction doesn’t even make sense.  If you must say “you all” and prefer to contract it, it’s “y’all”, not “ya’ll”.  And for the love of all things right, never use “y’all” in second person plural possessive.  ”Y’all’s”?  Please.  That sounds disgusting.

Some suggestions:

second person plural -> “you”

second person plural possessive -> “your”

That is all.  Thank You.

S

04
Oct
09

Total Guitar Makeover

Harder e

conomic times have inspired me to think a bit differently, and possibly more sustainably. Rather than spending over $1,000 on a custom American Fender Stratocaster, I’m rebuilding my Johnson (never heard of that brand, you’re not the only one) Strat with some used and new Fender parts. The resulting guitar, which will be developed in the coming months, will be totally custom made (by me) and will be astonishing.

Ok, here it is before I begin the dirty work. Back is covered in stickers.

Ok, here it is before I begin the dirty work. Back is covered in stickers.

This is after I took all the hardware out and basically have a strat-shaped block of maple(?).

This is after I took all the hardware out and basically have a strat-shaped block of maple(?).

After sanding. My set up for painting.

After sanding. My set up for painting.

After 2 coats of Krylon Banner Red, were ready for glitter.

After 2 coats of Krylon Banner Red, we're ready for glitter.

28
Sep
09

Short Essay for Construction Eng. and Management

I would like to own my own company eventually after graduation and with such aspirations, a proprietorship may work in my best interest. While a proprietorship is risky in that all liability becomes personal liability, as well, such liabilities can be avoided by careful planning and the use of safe practices. For instance, a proprietor would be wise not to enter into a contract with an owner that has a history of filing lawsuits against contractors, such as Universal Studios, as discussed in class. A proprietor would also be wise to employ only union workers, who typically have a higher safety record than their non-union counterparts. The advantage of owning my own company would be that I would have direct influence in all decisions made by the company, much like Bruce Wayne of Wayne Enterprises. The even greater advantage, however would be that I would only be taxed once, rather than face the double taxation that corporations must pay. I tend to believe that I am a better judge of the use of my money than the government is, and I would prefer to remain in control of where it goes.

24
Jul
09

What is worthy of my ears?

My earliest memories of music in my life would have to be those of traveling in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee or on the Blue Ridge Parkway in North Carolina, listening to cassette tapes of bluegrass or southern gospel, and even a magical blend of the two. My parents would even take me to see the bluegrass musicians at Dollywood, and basically everywhere else in East Tennessee.  I just love the sound that a couple of “simple folks” can put together with a few basic, acoustic instruments.

I strayed from these roots a bit in middle school and high school, learning to play electric guitar, and becoming vehemently opposed to all things country.  I remember saying, “Every country song is the same; you lose your house, your dog, your truck, and your wife.”  To an extent, this is quite true.  Anyways, back then, it was all about the instrumentation for me, the more distorted electric guitar, the better.  Listening to me play in those days must have been awful.

Well, as I’ve matured, I can’t help but feel like my musical taste has greatly improved.  Whether you agree with my tastes, or not, I can only say that now, music is so much more fulfilling than it was before.  Still mostly into the rock scene as I went to college, I had to dip into rap and hip-hop a bit as I moved to Midtown Atlanta, but this was to be short-lived.  Much like my opinion of country music, on the whole, rap all sounds the same, however there are a few key differences.  Being an engineer, let me itemize them:

  1. Rap lyrics are disgusting for the most part.
  2. The talent required to put out a rap album is minute at best.
  3. Country songs are about working hard to get out of an adverse situation, while rap tends toward dwelling on the poor conditions you live in, and waiting for someone (possibly your socialist government) to bail you out.  Forget working hard to get out of the ghetto, let’s just whine about it, smoke some weed, shoot someone, and disrespect our women (except for momma; you talk about my momma or my Aun-tie, and I’ma cut you so bad you wish I not cut you so bad).
  4. Country songs are frequently patriotic.

After reviewing the above list in my head, I made a choice.  It’s ok to like country music.  There.  I said it.  I enjoy it, much like I did so long ago.  Does this mean that I like all country music?  Absolutely not.  I’m finding out what I do like, though, and I’m really enjoying it, thus far.  Just a few of the things I’ve, so far, discovered are as follows: Taylor Swift, Lady Antebellum, Rascal Flatts, some Brad Paisley, and some patriotic songs by Toby Kieth.  I’m open to suggestions.  I like the stuff that isn’t about losing your house, your dog, your truck, and your wife.  So… If this means we can’t be friends, ok, fine, you probably weren’t a good friend anyway.  Maybe I’ll write a song about all this.  More on that later.

08
Jul
09

Taylor

Ok.

This might be love.  For real.  At least I think that’s what this feeling is.  Her name?

Taylor.

Swift?  Hmm, no, but close.  Very close.  That’s a different story for a different day.

My Taylor has the smoothest, most beautiful texture I’ve beheld, and to hold her in my hands, feels so good, and so right.  Her curves fit snug against me and I feel her brightness and her warmth against my body.  She is beautiful.  The sound of her voice is ike music to my ears.  Never before have I heard such incredible highs and lows that were so pleasing to the ear.

But most of all, I love her because she is mine.

When she’s around others, she makes me proud, but she never shines quites as much as when we’re alone, sharing our favorite songs late at night or when I hold her in my arms just before I let her go.

Yes, I think this is love.

Taylor